We sat down in those seats, and Gemma and Joshua surveyed the teams warming up. Then they both said, "How do you win this game?"
Did you know that such people exist? Americans who do not know how baseball is played?? I don't care that they are 6 and 4. This is baseball! They're just supposed to know.
Most surprising for them, when I explained, was that there was a man who got to decide which pitches were balls and which were strikes. "Why does he get to decide? What if he's wrong?. . ."
Part of the ballpark fun was the organ music between pitches, leading the crowd in all the standard cheers and clapping rhythms. Gemma asked how everyone knew when to clap.
A common one was the cavalry-ish "Ba-da-da-DA-da-DAA! CHARGE!!!" And everyone except our two children yelled out together with a fist forward, "CHARGE!"
After the 4th time this one was played, Josh turned to me with great triumph because he'd remembered how this one went and he remembered to stick his fist out and yet along with us.
"Mommy!" he announced, "I said, 'GEORGE'!"
***
We had some super-soft mangoes to use up, so I announced that we'd make smoothies. Joshua said, "Can I help you with the ingredients?"
Sure! He pulled up a chair to stand on. Gemma hovered behind us, which I found unusual. . .
I pulled out the mangoes, and pomegranate 7-Up. Josh dispensed cups of ice for us and put them into the blender.
I asked him to get a plastic grocery bag for me to hold the mango rinds. He said, "No thank you."
I said, "I thought you wanted to help me."
Josh: "I said I wanted to help with ingredients."
Parsing words at age 4! I'm so proud of him! These were the little games I played with words, too. Still play (?) No matter. He is so my son. Doesn't look at all like me. But that's just on the outside.
Gemma said, "Joshua, do you want to put the whole can of soda in?"
Of course he did. I knew just what Gemma would say next, as soon as he had finished a choice task like that. "Mommy, since Josh got to put in the soda, can I press the blender buttons?"
And there we see Gemma, like her Daddy, through and through. Planning a few steps ahead. Though his plans lack her sense of crafty sibling manipulation. . . I don't know that they always have.
***
The Sky Sox game made clear to me that we need to be a bit pro-active about the whole sports thing. There is a basic cultural literacy issue at stake here and given that Bryan and I never watch sports on TV at home, we need to get out to more games.
It's nice to have the Air Force Academy in town. Not only are they NCAA, their events cost next to nothing to attend and if our kids ever become fans of their teams, the chances of one of the players they admire behaving badly are next to zero. Most of all, I like the idea of seeing players compete for love of their game. No full-ride prima donas here. All cadets are on full rides!
I explained the rules of volleyball in the car on the way to the AFA women's season opener. The intricacies of side-out, whence a team only gets a point if it's serving. That games went to 15 points. That a match was best out of 3. All of which was what I remembered from Mrs. Field's written volleyball test from high school gym class.
By the way, I've always liked games that are won in matches. I like how you can lose battles but win wars.
They were a fun team to watch. Lots of energy. Their "bench" didn't sit on a bench. They stood to the side. (And stayed warmed-up that way?) They were tall. And their opponents were sucking wind about 15 minutes into the warm-up. The altitude was killing them.
Ah. The opponents. "Long Island University." Huh. Like. From the "Long Island"? Why would a New York team come to Colorado Springs to compete? And why were there three Colorado Springs natives on the Long Island University team?
Answer: Their head coach used to assist at AFA.
Begetting another question: Why are there so many male coaches in collegiate volleyball? I looked into this (a little) and found that about half are men. What? These guys probably didn't play NCAA volleyball--I think because of Title IX, mens teams are limited to club sports. Why aren't these coaching jobs populated by women who, you know, played the game?
No matter. Speaking of little cheers "we all know," I offered up a version for Bryan to consider. The future Air Force officers could say:
That's all right
That's OK
We'll drop a bomb on YOU someday!
Heh heh. But it went totally unappreciated. Bryan had a difficult time making the emotional adjustment to being at an Air Force game. And being expected to cheer for them.
I say: Time to buy in, buddy. This is our home now.
The only shock of the night is that there is no more "side-out"! Every ball is a point! And now there are 25 points in a game and 5 games in a match!
***
We went to Buckskin Joe's. This is a "western theme tourist attraction where the West is Fun!" It is a mining town, composed of about 25 buildings found all over the West and moved there. Some are operational, like the saloon where we ate lunch, or the dry goods store where the kids bought candy that cost a lot more than a penny. . . Many buildings were decorated to the period inside, but cordoned off so that visitors could just peer in at the antiques.
After 50 years of operation in Canyon City, it was sold at auction. Some billionaire bought the place for parts, he says. There's a lot of 'em. He is a collector who plans to move most of the stuff to his private ranch. The purchase also included the 800 acres that sits along the Royal Gorge. We won't be surprised if there's a 4 star lodge and golf course in Canyon City about 5 years from now.
I want to know how those guys got those jobs. Are they actors? The guy who played the Medicine man seemed like he took his craft seriously. . .
Where are they going to work now?
How does that job look on a resume?
Buckskin Joe's also featured a narrow-gauge train ride out the Royal Gorge and along it. Passengers are let off at the mid-point and allowed onto a "scenic overlook" platform. We wondered if this part of the attraction would be incorporated into the golf course. . .
Both kids still want to sit next to me at events or restaurants or train rides. All the time, if they can. I don't know if that's normal or if it's a lingering reaction to the cancer. Or if it hurts Bryan's feelings on some level. I try to accommodate them when I can.
You've had moments like this, too. An "I can't believe this is actually my life" moment. Gemma and Josh could feel it, too. They kept smiling up at me and touching my face with soft, cupped palms. Josh said a few times, "I just love you so much, Mommy."
And finally the moment would not sustain. Or I couldn't sustain it. Or something. And I thought, "The cancer is going to come back and I am going to die soon and this afternoon is what they will remember."
So began a different kind of game, but one that must be pretty common among cancer champions. There's a tiny seed of a thought that if I lose sight of the possibility of more cancer and just enjoy the life in front of me, I'll get sick again. As though keeping it mind means it cannot sneak up on me.
I talk back to this seed of a thought. So begins a whole conversation with myself and with God about what is True. On goes the game of choosing to believe it. Choosing not to dwell on possibilities. It's a struggle. It is not a battle I win every time.
***
That same day, we got back into town in time for another Sky Sox game! Friends gave us tickets to their sky box. We went with our neighbors, and our 4 children together didn't watch a whole lot of baseball. The beautiful Fall day turned into a perfect night.
Right after the game ended, the park put on their fireworks display and we had the best seats in the house for them. I held Joshua on my lap as they danced. We can see the Friday night fireworks all summer long from our park, but now we were close enough to see the trails of smoke linger behind each burst, illuminated by the next round's explosion.
And just like that, I found myself in another perfect moment. I don't think I'd ever had two in one day before. But there it was. The thought came to mind, "This is abundant life, Amy. It's not your job to sustain it. It's your job not to sacrifice it."
So I didn't. This time. Battle won. A total match victory in sight.
Charge.
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